Our quest for happiness

 “Happiness is not something ready made.  It comes from your own actions”  

Dalai Lama

We are all ultimately on a quest for happiness.  Every decision we take, even subconsciously, is towards happiness and away from pain. When we find happiness, we find our freedom and everything in our lives falls into place.

Perhaps we should ask ourselves why we are not happy if we feel subdued.  The answers for each person will be different but if the answer is money we are on the wrong track – happiness cannot be bought, earned, owned or consumed.  Make a list of things that make you happy and then increase that list from time to time.  There are certain blocks on our mission to happiness that we may need to overcome:

Self-pity

Some people feel that life has been unfair to them – difficult parents, an unadvantaged upbringing or any other obstacle they feel has held them back in their growth.  They may play the role of victim portraying hopelessness.  Well life sometimes is unfair and things do go wrong but we need to recognize that feeling sorry for ourselves does not have to be permanent.  There is a time to recognize self-pity, take control of the feelings and move forward.                                                              

Ungratefulness        

We may lose loved ones or our jobs or our possessions during our lives.  Sadness and grief is human nature but time changes things.  In times of trial, gratitude can lift us out of our despair.  We become so used to the simple things in life like a roof over our heads and food to eat that we take them for granted. Sometimes it is good to write down what we have to be thankful for.  If we start appreciating all the good things around us, we start to show an attitude of gratitude and feel a lot happier within ourselves.

Unrealistic goals

It is a good practice to make goals within our reach but pressures from peers or social demands can make us be unrealistic.  The more money we make and the higher up the social ladder we climb, the more we expect of ourselves.  Life can become overwhelming if we set our standards too high.  Happiness is only achieved now in the present moment.  Making long term goals for materialistic things does not take into account our happiness. It is more important to do whatever it takes to be happy right now. So take each day as if comes and start living in the moment.         

Procrastination                          

Often we have turned down opportunities or invitations because we are not in the mood or do not want to get out of our comfort zone.  We need to start saying “Yes” more and open up to the flow of life.  Whatever emotion is holding us back from taking a simple walk to attending a work function, we need to acknowledge it and say “Yes”.  If we ever feel stuck in a rut, start saying “Yes” to more in life – do it for just one week and see what a difference it makes. 

Intention

Have you ever woken up and said to yourself “Today is going to be a lousy day?”  The chances are it will be.  Your intention sets your direction.  Rather ask yourself “What is my intention for today?”  If you change your beliefs about certain things, life will become much clearer and easier. If you need to write an article for example, make it your intention that it will be a good one – the chances are you will get it done quicker and it will be good.  A positive belief system and good intentions is sometimes more powerful than the law of attraction and much simpler.  It is a good starting point regardless to get on the right path to happiness and self-fulfillment. 

Holding onto the past

We often have mental blockages from the past.  We have to let go of feelings we have become attached to which no longer serve us now.  We are not our emotions – fear, resentment or anger is an energy that passes through us and not part of what we are.  Once we let go of past negative emotions, we can then learn to let them go on demand.  Accept the past, learn from it and resign ourselves to stop worrying about it.  Make a conscious decision to move forward and become more positive.  Happiness will follow.

“When you follow your bliss... doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors; and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone else”  

Joseph Campbell