Perception: How Do You View The World?

“Anybody who's ever gone through a hard time - any outsider's perception, no matter how much information they're given, they have no idea what the person's life is like”

Amy Grant

Let us look at the definition of Perception:

1.  The act of perceiving; cognizance by the senses or intellect; apprehension by the bodily organs, or by the mind, of what is presented to them; discernment; apprehension; cognition.

2.  The faculty of perceiving; the faculty, or peculiar part, of man's constitution by which he has knowledge through the medium or instrumentality of the bodily organs; the act of apprehending material objects or qualities through the senses; -- distinguished from conception.

3.  The quality, state, or capability, of being affected by something external; sensation; sensibility.

4.  An idea; a notion.

2012 was a long year full of fearful predictions but we have made it through the holidays, the end of the Mayan calendar and the world has not come to an end.  Most of us have started or already set some goals or intentions for 2013 but these probably all focus on external materialistic things.  Depending on our perception of this crazy world, our plans may be sourced in fear and ego.  The ego is tricky and it's easy to end up letting it be the one who creates our vision board or goals for the year ahead, setting us up for disappointments and a sense of failure.

Direct Perception Checking is a three step process (Floyd, 2009):

a.    Acknowledging the behaviour you witnessed

b.    Interpreting that behaviour

c.    Asking whether your interpretation was correct

IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?

Depending on the source of our perception, we will interpret life in different ways.  The definition above refers to the normal five senses:  Touch, Sight, Hearing, Smell and Taste.  It also refers to bodily organs including the mind.  The mind can play tricks on us but when we start feeling from the heart, really feeling from the heart, our visions and interpretations can change for the better.  The heart is the source of love, happiness and gratitude.

Jafree Oswald of Enlightened Beings gave me some great advice when it comes to being positive:

“When you are positive about everything in your life, something magical happens. Everything good seems to effortlessly flow your way and people just love hanging around you. People in your presence smile and laugh more, which makes you feel even better inside about being alive. Being positive is more important than you think. It's the foundation of your very survival. If you could only think a stream of negative thoughts for the next few weeks, you might start believing suicide is the only viable option. Once you learn how to find the good within the bad, you'll easily manifest a continual flow of success wherever you go.

Life contains both polarities of nature, the deep and dark as well as the light bright, and everything between the two. The dark always contains the light, and the light always contains the dark. Just like the eastern Yin-Yang symbol. They co-exist as complementary energies that cannot exist separately. This melting light/dark energy is found in the fabric and matrix of every atom in our Universe. When you remember this, you'll know that somewhere inside the negative you can find a seed of something positive. You just have to get out your microscope and look more closely at the situation with a creative mind and an open heart.

The greatest advice I've ever received for being unstoppably positive about life is the thought that "anything is possible". This one little concept has allowed my mind to continuously open, even after it became momentarily closed. Believe it or not, it is possible to be positive about everything that happens to you in life. There is always something to be learned from each situation, person and circumstance no matter how challenging it may be. Being consistently positive is simply a choice that you make in each moment. It's a creative choice where you decide that you are 100% devoted to finding some possible way to enjoy this experience. Finding positivity in everything stems FROM believing in the impossible. You start realizing that you're living in an infinite Universe that has no boundary to it, thus there is no boundary to your mind or imagination. How would you view your life differently this week if you knew without a doubt that anything and everything was possible?

I'd like to give you a little exercise that will help you find the power to be positive about everything. Right now, focus your attention on your heart. What emotions and sensations do you notice are going on in there? Allow the energy around and inside your heart to soften and relax until you feel your mind follows along, and becomes more relaxed and quiet with it. Breathe slowly and deeply, focusing only on your heart relaxing. Do this for 5-10 minutes and enjoy the process of relaxing and letting go. Just explore the experience of relaxing your heart. You'll soon notice as your heart relaxes, it feels like there is more space for you to think positive thoughts about your life.

The mind is like a parachute, when it opens up it will save your life. With an open mind you don't have to try so hard to only think positive thoughts. You can allow for any life experience to show up and simply open your mind to seeing the positive come out of it. It is a constant moment to moment choice to have an open positive mind. If you can just choose to have an open mind, you'll be able to manifest anything and everything you want in life. If the mind is impatient and continues to stay closed and will not open, embrace it with curiosity. The more doubt, disbelief, and resistance you have, the greater the transformation will be! If you can maintain an open mind and a relaxed heart for the next 30 days of your life, an orgasmic experience of constant bliss will be awaiting you. That is something to look forward to!!”

I do not normally say affirmations but here is one that can truly change your perception of life:

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself:  I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.  I can choose which it shall be.  Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”

“Miracles happen every day, change your perception of what a miracle is and you'll see them all around you”

Jon Bon Jovi

Our quest for happiness

 “Happiness is not something ready made.  It comes from your own actions”  

Dalai Lama

We are all ultimately on a quest for happiness.  Every decision we take, even subconsciously, is towards happiness and away from pain. When we find happiness, we find our freedom and everything in our lives falls into place.

Perhaps we should ask ourselves why we are not happy if we feel subdued.  The answers for each person will be different but if the answer is money we are on the wrong track – happiness cannot be bought, earned, owned or consumed.  Make a list of things that make you happy and then increase that list from time to time.  There are certain blocks on our mission to happiness that we may need to overcome:

Self-pity

Some people feel that life has been unfair to them – difficult parents, an unadvantaged upbringing or any other obstacle they feel has held them back in their growth.  They may play the role of victim portraying hopelessness.  Well life sometimes is unfair and things do go wrong but we need to recognize that feeling sorry for ourselves does not have to be permanent.  There is a time to recognize self-pity, take control of the feelings and move forward.                                                              

Ungratefulness        

We may lose loved ones or our jobs or our possessions during our lives.  Sadness and grief is human nature but time changes things.  In times of trial, gratitude can lift us out of our despair.  We become so used to the simple things in life like a roof over our heads and food to eat that we take them for granted. Sometimes it is good to write down what we have to be thankful for.  If we start appreciating all the good things around us, we start to show an attitude of gratitude and feel a lot happier within ourselves.

Unrealistic goals

It is a good practice to make goals within our reach but pressures from peers or social demands can make us be unrealistic.  The more money we make and the higher up the social ladder we climb, the more we expect of ourselves.  Life can become overwhelming if we set our standards too high.  Happiness is only achieved now in the present moment.  Making long term goals for materialistic things does not take into account our happiness. It is more important to do whatever it takes to be happy right now. So take each day as if comes and start living in the moment.         

Procrastination                          

Often we have turned down opportunities or invitations because we are not in the mood or do not want to get out of our comfort zone.  We need to start saying “Yes” more and open up to the flow of life.  Whatever emotion is holding us back from taking a simple walk to attending a work function, we need to acknowledge it and say “Yes”.  If we ever feel stuck in a rut, start saying “Yes” to more in life – do it for just one week and see what a difference it makes. 

Intention

Have you ever woken up and said to yourself “Today is going to be a lousy day?”  The chances are it will be.  Your intention sets your direction.  Rather ask yourself “What is my intention for today?”  If you change your beliefs about certain things, life will become much clearer and easier. If you need to write an article for example, make it your intention that it will be a good one – the chances are you will get it done quicker and it will be good.  A positive belief system and good intentions is sometimes more powerful than the law of attraction and much simpler.  It is a good starting point regardless to get on the right path to happiness and self-fulfillment. 

Holding onto the past

We often have mental blockages from the past.  We have to let go of feelings we have become attached to which no longer serve us now.  We are not our emotions – fear, resentment or anger is an energy that passes through us and not part of what we are.  Once we let go of past negative emotions, we can then learn to let them go on demand.  Accept the past, learn from it and resign ourselves to stop worrying about it.  Make a conscious decision to move forward and become more positive.  Happiness will follow.

“When you follow your bliss... doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors; and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone else”  

Joseph Campbell

Get off that pity pot

   “If you don’t like something, change it.   If you can’t change it,

change your attitude.”   Maya Angelou

It has been one of those days.  I really could have stayed in bed this morning and slept this flu away but I was woken up by the dogs barking and the sound of lawnmowers – garden service day, oh no!  So I dragged my sorry butt out of bed and decided to go to the pharmacy.

Now being an alcoholic and buying over the counter medication is another story.  You have to check for no alcohol in the cough mixture and no codeine in the tablets.  Then when she hands you the medicine and you spend hours checking all the ingredients, more than likely you have to complain that one of them is addictive.  So, putting up with strange glances from the people in the queue behind you, you have to explain why you cannot take it!

Back home with the little energy left and the dogs still yapping at the mowers, I proceeded to do the housework.  My thoughts went back to the old days when a hot toddy with a large dash of brandy in it was the best cure for colds and the little bottles of Swedish herbs all preserved in an even larger dose of alcohol was the cure for stomach ailments.  Then I start going down that dreaded path of self-pity and questioning why this all had to happen to me, me, me!

When the mowers had finished and the dogs settled down and I can hear, I sit down at the computer and through bleary eyes start reading my emails.  I keep reminding myself that I need to write two articles today but I put that off.  Then I start thinking about what I am going to say when the boss comes home and asks the same question he always does “So what have you done today – made any money?”  Gosh that puts me into even more of a mood and I think either I am going to scream back at him “Made the beds, washed the dishes, cleaned the house, picked up your dirty laundry, made your supper and no I didn’t make money” or casually ignore him and burst into tears.  I can’t say I am not feeling well because us females are just expected to carry on regardless remember?     

Then this picture catches my eye.  I start to realize how pathetic and ungrateful I have been all day.  I have a roof over my head, I have a bed to make, I have dishes to wash, I have clothes to launder, I have a computer and a car - and there are so many people out there in this world with nothing.  It is okay to feel poorly but get over it.  

Sometimes we let our attitudes get the better of us and we need to realize that the world does not just revolve around us. Feelings are only a reaction to our thoughts.  Thoughts can be changed and so in turn reactions will change.  Everything in this world happens for a reason.  Perhaps the Universe is trying to tell me to take a break, slow down and rest.  I have learned that I can start my day over any time I need to and I feel better already. 

So here is my article for today and the best thing of all is I am grateful and still sober.   

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance 

appears.”   Anthony Robbins

To Thine Own Self Be True

“The most splendid achievement of all is the constant striving to surpass yourself and to be worthy of your own approval.” - Denis Waitley

We all come to a time where we start to question our life purpose.  In most instances, we realise that we need to make some changes for the better. I believe this starts with honesty and letting go of our past illusions. To become aware of what is true we need to become aware of what is false as well.  Living authentically is challenged by the dual nature of our existence.

The False Self

Most forms of stress, procrastination, anxiety, fear, indecision and denial can be traced to the false self.  It is not something we are born with but rather things that we have learned through what society and family expects from us.  No one likes to feel unworthy of love or acceptance and this can influence us to believe that we are something that we really are not.  Our thoughts and behaviour change to better other peoples’ opinions of us.

The Real Self

The real or authentic self is who we really are. It is us minus the values, desires and beliefs acquired from external threats or accusations.  It isn't something we need to create. We were born with it. We will die with it.  In a world full of change and uncertainty, it's one of the few things we can truly rely on.

To be yourself is to become yourself          

Change from the false to the real self can be challenging. We need to search our own experiences and explore our own minds and change the thought patterns that are keeping us trapped in a false self and the false world that comes with it.  Instead of settling for a narrow picture of reality, we want to know the whole of it and align with truth instead.

As William Shakespeare quoted from Hamlet:

"This above all: To thine own self be true, and it must follow - as the night the day - thou canst not be false to any man."

This little poem I picked up in my readings and ramblings explains it simply:

The Guy in the Glass

When you get what you want in your struggle for self,
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that man has to say.

For it isn't your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass,
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life,
Is the one staring back from the glass.

You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum,
If you can't look him straight in the eye.

He's the fellow to please never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

You may get what you want down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears,
If you've cheated the man in the glass.

Dale Wimbrow 1895-1954

Who Am I?

“Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another's conception of God. Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach and to effect a contact with Him. As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction, provided we took other simple steps. We found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men”.   Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 46

In the 12 step recovery program, we are asked to be open-minded and put our trust in a power greater than ourselves.  The reason behind this is we need to accept that we are completely powerless against taking the first drink, drug or whatever it is that is causing our illness.  Most people are agreeable that they are powerless, but when it comes to the spiritual part of the program, they tend to react in different ways.  Some are willing to believe and others run away.  The word “God” is used throughout our recovery, but as it explains above, we choose our own conception of God – our own higher power.  The 12 steps are based on a spiritual, not a religious program.    

I am a child of the Universe.  What I really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition.  Maintaining my spiritual condition is like exercising every day.  I pray and I meditate.  No matter how difficult life seems at times and how painful a situation may appear today, I can draw on the power of the program to stay free from my cunning, powerful and baffling disease.

This description of an alcoholic taken from the website, http://www.whytehouse.com, describes the dilemma of a substance abuser perfectly, bearing in mind that “God” is a higher power which the person feels most comfortable with:

Who am I?

I am almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though my motives are good. I, like most people, try to live by self-propulsion. I am like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in my own way. If my arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as I wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including myself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements I may sometimes be quite virtuous. I may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, I may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, I AM more likely to have varied traits.

What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well. I begin to think life doesn't treat me right. I decide to exert myself more. I become, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Still the play does not suit me. Admitting I may be somewhat at fault, I am sure that other people are more to blame. I becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is my basic trouble? Am I not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? Am I not a victim of the delusion that I can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if I only manage well? Is it not evident to all the rest of the players that these are the things I want? And do not my actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show? Am I not, even in my best moments, a producer of confusion rather than harmony?

I am a self-centred ego-centric, as people like to call it nowadays. I am like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation; the minister who sighs over the sins of the twenty first century; politicians and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia if the rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him; and the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up. Whatever my protestations, am I not concerned with myself, my resentments, or my self-pity?

Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, I think, is the root of my troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, I step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt me, seemingly without provocation, but I invariably find that at some time in the past I have made decisions based on self which later placed me in a position to be hurt.

So my troubles, I think, are basically of my own making. They arise out of me, and I am an extreme example of self-will run riot, though I usually do not think so. Above everything, I must be rid of this selfishness. I must, or it will kill me! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. I had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but I could not live up to them even though I would have liked to. Neither could I reduce my self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on my own power. I had to have God's help.

This is the how and the why of it. First of all, I had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, I decided that hereafter in this drama of life; God was going to be my Director. He is the Principal; I am His agent. He is the Father, and I am His child. Most Good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which I passed into freedom.

When I sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. I had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what I needed, if I kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing I became less and less interested in myself, my little plans and designs. More and more I became interested in seeing what I could contribute to life. As I felt new power flow in, as I enjoyed peace of mind, as I discovered I could face life successfully, as I became conscious of His presence, I began to lose my fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. I was reborn.